Wishing
by Delle Tuh
Summary: Regulus Black was never a bad person. He tries to convince himself of this fact as he stares into the slitted eyes of You-Know-Who. A short drabble story. Rated for Themes, Language and Incest/Slash. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Harry Potter._

**Author's Note:** So here it is, the story that's been wrapped in my head for almost a year now. Thanks to Lilac, my beautiful beta, for help and always, the HP wikia, I doubt I would get anything right without it. Also, the chapters do tend to be short and sweet, so I promise to try to post at least everyday until it's finished. There are mentions of slash and incest, and dark themes, given it's the story of the last two years of Regulus Black's life. Well, please enjoy, and do review. -Delta

**Chapter One**

Regulus is alone.

The sheets beneath him are empty, still warm and plush and smelling of _him_. His hand slide across the ruffled dark sheets, the window's curtains dancing across the length of the room, searching.

Searching for _him._

But as the hours pass and the wind grows anxious, no one comes back through the small opening and finally Regulus falls over into the now cold bed.

And he curses himself.

--


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I decided to be nice and give something else to offer you in the lines of plot. Well, kinda. If you haven't noticed yet, Sirius is a problem for our dear Regulus. The last chapter was placed at the Grimmauld, this, of course, at Hogwarts. Mysterious drabbles do leave a tad bit to be desired maybe? It's still good in my opinion, do review. -Delta

**Disclaimer:** I do not own_ Harry Potter._

**Chapter Two**

Regulus doesn't have friends.

He watches with desire in his eyes as Sirius and his marauders crowd in the Great Hall, their booming laughter echoing off the stone walls as the giggles and squeals of young girls follow shortly thereafter.

Jealousy shoots through him, quick and fast, but is quelled almost immediately as an elbow breaks into his ribs; Rabastian snickers as he continues to go on about the Potions essay due in a fortnight.

Severus quickly takes the Lestrange's attention away from Regulus with a sharp glance at the boy himself and he can hear the thick and oily words coat his ears as if he's said them aloud.

_Watch yourself._

He looks up from his kippers and toast to find _his_ eyes looking right back.

It is all he can watch.

--


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Harry Potter._

**Author's Note: **I think Regulus was the way he was by circumstance, not necessarily by choice. I think being in Slytherin put him in the wrong crowd (and those of you keen on canon, Bellatrix is much older than these kids, but if you notice in the books, J.K. puts her in this timeline as well, so I cheated) and made him more prone to becoming what he ultimately was in the end, a Death Eater. I don't try to make Regulus seem like a good person, because he really isn't, he's selfish at first, very self oriented. I'm talking too much. Just read. And review. Thanks. -Delta

**Chapter Three**

Regulus was never a bad person.

He tries to convince himself of this as he watches the company he has put himself in.

Bellatrix is curled around Rodolphus, her lips brushing a caress against his ear as her eyes follow the room, peaking from behind her mess of hair and smirking madly.

Rodolphus and Rabastian are deep in a debate about unicorn horns and how much they would go for in Knockturn Alley these days, wondering if they would be able to bypass the oaf Hagrid for a trip to the Forbidden Forest.

But Severus, dear Severus, is alone in a corner as Regulus is. A worn and tattered book is on the desk under his quill, the light scratch of words against old parchment filling in between the crackling wood of the fire.

When he turns to check on his fellow students, he finds them all lost in conversation.

Save one.

And when he looks into the young boy's eyes, he tries his damnedest not to yell at him to run.

--


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Harry Potter._

**Chapter Four**

Regulus likes Herbology.

Though the modified species of plants were intriguing enough for an hour and a half, Regulus found something much more interesting to focus his attention on during the ninety minutes of young, little Professor Sprout's lecturing tone.

Care of Magical Creatures for seventh years is just across the way, and as Regulus squints, he can just make out his brother's shaggy hair.

And, with the wind carrying up the sounds from below, Regulus can just catch Sirius' raucous laughter from down the hill.

And it makes his heart flutter every time.

--


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Harry Potter._

**Author's Note: **I want you all to keep in mind that the Death Eatery hasn't happened for Regulus and his buddies yet. Please, review. I don't like to beg, but I will.

**Chapter Five**

Regulus doesn't despise Severus.

He doesn't say he likes him because he doesn't. He doesn't really like anyone.

But Severus was bearable.

Rabastian and Rodolphus are both utterly psychotic. Their brains had long since melted into a warped and gory horror film that played over and over again, producing nothing but terror some ideas and fancies that made even Regulus' thick skin crawl.

They remind him of Igor and Dr. Frankenstein.

He just wonders how long it would take for them to find their lightning.

--


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Harry Potter._

**Author's Note: **This chapter represents a true turning point in Reggie's life. For once Sirius leaves Hogwarts, Regulus has nothing substancial to hold on to, and therefore falls apart. Do review :D -Delta

**Chapter Six**

Regulus has always hated school.

First it was because Sirius seemed to be lurking behind every statue and shadow in the stone corridors. His cloudy grey eyes peaking from behind every door and window.

And now it's because Sirius is no where to be found within the same castle walls. His laughter no longer dances on the wind when he looks over the hills and into the forest.

Now Regulus feels unbearably alone.

--


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Harry Potter._

**Author's Note:** I didn't feel as though Regulus was an active supporter in Lord Voldemort's reign until after he began following around Rabastian and his brother. So I wanted it to be subtle, I wanted him not to truly know what he was getting into. That's how it works out in my head. I don't see Rabastian as a threat until Voldemort. They are just kids. I explain too much, yet again. Just read. And do review. -Delta

**Chapter Seven**

Regulus is not fond of mornings.

Rabastian is as enthusiastically insane as ever, his hands waving around his fork animatedly.

The mention of a shiver inducing name they'd only heard in adults' whispers makes Severus stiffen severely, his eyes onyx daggers that glint in the oncoming sun.

"Keep quiet you imbecile."

"So you _do_ know."

"I said, tie your mouth shut or I will do it for you, Rabastian."

"But you _know_, Severus."

"_And?"_

He spit the words as if they were venom he were sucking from an enemies leg.

"So you have to tell us."

"The bloody hell I do."

"We want to join."

Regulus catches on only long enough for the last second of the conversation, and out of nothing but curiosity, he has the audacity to ask,

"Join what?"

--


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Harry Potter._

**Author's Note: **I skipped a good amount. But I believe less is more in this story. If I were to draw it on, it could go forever with Regulus and the complexness of his character. I hope The character development still flows after this, it shall get a bit darker from here on.

**Chapter Eight**

Regulus never wanted to be branded.

His allegiance to his godforsaken family had been to ensure himself a comfortable life after their death. Going with their thoughts is easier than creating his own.

Fighting is hard.

And as he watches the snake slither and coil on his arm, he stares at it with indifference, and he reminds himself…

"_A comfortable life after their death."_

It is the only notion that will help him sleep at night.

--


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **So this is the beginning of the end, and I must say I feel terrible for not updating sooner, I'm so very sorry. New chapter tonight as well!

**Chapter Nine**

Regulus hates reporting to the Dark Lord.

Sweat slicks his hands and his usually deepened voice squeaks pubescently, drawing snickers across his kinsman's faces.

But the Dark Lord never flinches, his shrouded head only nodding occasionally.

It is only when the Dark Lord addresses him by name that he looks into his crimson eyes, sending icy tremors to his very bones.

And he gives Regulus his first personal assignment.

_**--**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: **I did a lot of research for this story, to be as close to canon as I could get, so I hope it comes through in this last eight or so chapters. And oh, do review, please. -Delta

**Chapter Ten**

Regulus has always been particularly kind to Kreacher, the House Elf.

So when he unexpectedly comes gallivanting through one of Grimmauld's many fireplaces, Kreacher is more than eager to do anything Regulus would dare command.

And so Regulus asks something of Kreacher neither of them could ever have expected.

He asks him to go with the Dark Lord.

Kreacher's morality does not even let him ask why.

--


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **So we really don't know _how_ Regulus found out about Voldy's little plan, but I figured since his and Severus' c

amaraderie was already well fixed in the plot, and Severus never really liking Voldy anyways, this is what I have. And I love how Severus spills the beans, personally. Enjoy. And do review. -Delta

**Chapter Eleven**

Regulus is anxious.

Even Severus notices one particularly stormy evening after a general meeting at Headquarters that his mood was particularly cross.

He asks him for a few rounds down at the pub and Regulus, with a heavy sigh and a remembrance of a smile on his dimpled cheeks, agrees.

Later that evening, with many mugs overturned on the table in front of them, Regulus starts talking in breaths about the Dark Lord and his…plan.

With the lager talking and his brain barely thinking, Severus laughs and says the few words he swore he would never utter as long as humanity was alive in his eyes,

"_Pure blood. _Hypocritical bastard."

Regulus only gapes response.

--


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** Not much to say about this one, it's quite self explanatory. Though I do love the innocence this gives Regulus. The humanity of ignorance. I think it makes him even more real and tangible. Do review, thanks. -Delta

**Chapter Twelve**

Regulus likes to pretend.

He pretends nothing has happened at the pub last night. He pretends Kreacher is snoring alone in his cubby.

But he forgets that the thing he was pretending not to think about has taken his House Elf when he calls the creature to fetch him some weeks old stew.

And as Kreacher pops suddenly out of thin air onto the floor beneath his feet, Regulus' childhood games fall hopelessly apart.

And he cannot pretend anymore.

--


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: **I think Sirius could have made or broken Regulus. But I think he chose indifference, and I think that it was sadly misplaced. Do review, if you're actually reading, please. -Delta

**Chapter Thirteen**

Regulus needs Sirius.

He hates the words as the appear in his thoughts, cobwebs of complexity he can't find his way through, but he tastes the raw edge of truth on his tongue and he knows reality is always scarier when it's Black.

He hates himself for being in the wretched family and he hates the ideals pushed upon him as a child and suddenly his hatred towards his brother turns to jealousy as he realizes who got away.

His efforts to save his future were futile.

And then, Regulus hates himself.

--


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: **The beginning of the end. I don't feel as though there was malice in his heart at all when he chose this route of 'indifference'. I don't think he knew what the reprecussions would be. I think he was naive. And naivety is nothing but a burden, when one finally opens his eyes. Only three chapters left. Do review, I spent months on this peice, and love it more than any other thing I've written. -Delta

**Chapter Fourteen**

Regulus feels an edge.

He has always thought himself a shadow amongst darkness.

A fraud.

But now he feels the fine line between wrong and right and he cannot make a choice. Even as his brother's eyes stare back at him from the mirror, haunted and swimming with ghosts, he cannot choose. (Fighting is always the hardest.)

Now, indifference doesn't suit Regulus anymore.

--


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: **I didn't know how to explain this bit. It's kinda far-fetched and normal at the same time. But I figure, he's a part of the Black family. THey must have archives and libraries full of old books with old magic. Not much else to say on this chapter. Only two left. Do review. -Delta

**Chapter Fifteen**

Regulus is determined.

Coffee mugs scatter the flat around him, pages of books strewn amongst empty pastry wrappers; his thoughts stippled amongst the rubbish.

He knows something is not right about Kreacher's story. Words like _cave_ and _lake_ and _potion_ and _locket_ reverberate around his mind and itch the threads of thought with remembrance until he is crying from the torture.

But in the back of the bottom shelf of the third bookcase to the entrance of the library in Grimmauld is an old book bound in leather that looks like silken flesh. And hidden in the thirteenth chapter of the ancient text, written in the words of men born hundreds of years before Regulus is the reason for the Dark Lord's actions.

And on the third day of scouring the library, Regulus finds it.

--


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: **The climax. I picture Kreacher being a big role in Reggie's fate. And I picture Regulus being disgusted by the thought of Voldemort splicing his soul. I think it was a true breaking point, after Severus made his last statement. One last chapter after this. Do review. -Delta

**Chapter Sixteen**

The word _horcrux_ disgusts Regulus Black.

The snake writhing on his arm burns but he barely winces as he looks into Kreacher's wide eyes.

"I want you to do me a favor, Kreacher."

The House Elf swallows and wrings his cloth tunic in his boney fingers.

"Anything, young Master Black."

Regulus tries to smile as sympathy for the helpless creature ticks his brain.

"I want you to take me to the Dark Lord's 'cave by the sea.'"

Kreacher's small eyes widen intensely.

He locks his jaw, and nods.

It is all he can do.

--


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: **I am so insanely proud at this peice, I want to cry right now, since the end is here. I am proud of all the research and nights spent with endless mugs of coffee and numerous visits to the HP wikia. Thank you, for everyone, who has read this, nevermind the reviews or not. Thank you. I will always get joy out of writing for you all. And this story, was no different. -Delta

**Chapter Seventeen**

Regulus had never wanted to write that letter.

He had never thought of the words, never even entertained the thought of seeing them on parchment, before his very eyes, and written in his own hand, no less.

But he feels his heart lift as he presses the note into the golden locket and thrusts it into Kreacher's trembling hands, the potion turning his mind into useless screams of terror and agony.

He drops to his knees and begs for water, and Kreacher, in a fit of panic, dips the golden goblet into the dark placid lake that occupies the dreadful cave and presses it to Regulus' lips.

Hands rush from the once motionless water and as Kreacher screams, Regulus smiles, his calm voice demanding Kreacher to leave. And as Kreacher, helpless to his Master's commands, vanishes from sight, Regulus closes his eyes.

And he dreams of Sirius…once more, and forever.

--

**The End**


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